Confessions in the Dark

K/S Fanfiction
Title:	Confessions in the Dark
Author(s):	Addison Reed
Date(s):	2009
Length:
Genre:	slash
Fandom:	Star Trek: The Original Series
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Confessions in the Dark is a TOS Kirk/Spock story by Addison Reed.

It was published in the print zine T'hy'la #29.

Summary

Kirk was anticipating an enjoyable visit with his mother, but Winona is strangely distracted, and he and Spock become quickly aware Winona's become involved in a political movement which poses danger to both of them.

Excerpt

""Spock, it's…difficult for me to explain, but I owe you nothing less than the truth." He closed his eyes because it was always easier to confess in the dark. "I just don't seem to be able to step back from this, to see it from a distance. It's like someone is hacking away at…at who and what I am…at what we are to each other. I'd rather die than lose you." He looked up, something akin to fear showing in his changeling eyes. "So why am I behaving like such a damned coward?""

Reactions and Reviews

I loved how this story started – Kirk in bed with a hotter than human heavy weight next to him, which turns out to be his mother’s cat! Kirk is home visiting his mother, and Spock is there as well, but in the guest bedroom. This is a wonderful first time story, as Kirk and Spock come to finally verbalize how much they mean to each other and act on their feelings. However, all does not go well on this visit, and Kirk and Spock have to confront some ugly prejudices. As much as I would like to believe this wouldn’t happen in the future, I’m afraid there will always be people who are afraid of anything different, and react violently due to their fears. This is a compelling story by a talented author. I’m so glad she has started writing K/S again.

Another not for the faint of heart. Not a lot of fluff and some rather disturbing social interactions. Right. Let's give the nervous ones time to leave, and Uncle Wolfie'll tell ye a tale...

This is a damned good story. The only other I remember by this author was "Standing Down", which is also excellent -- but a guy can only do so many reviews in one ish, nu? Based on these samples, I'd rec anything by this author as worth a look for sure. Now for the details. Spoilers, get over it, yadda yadda you know the drill. I've wanted to review this one since the zine came out. Tried a couple times. Couldn't pull it together, wasn't sure why. On this latest re-reading I figured it out -- events in this story are a bit close to home for me. Jim takes Spock home to the farm on shore leave. They aren't together yet, but both are thinking, separately, that they will be soon. They're doing a lot of the eye things, the watching -- all the stuff we do when we first figure out why this person is so very interesting -- but neither has yet spoken of it. The story opens with Jim lying in bed next to a heavy warm body and thinking sleepily of Spock -- then his mom's big yellow tomcat hops off the bed and he smiles at himself. They see each other in bathrobes in the hallway and there's more eyestuff again -- the whole opening is relaxed, kinda dreamy... nice. Dressed, they go downstairs and Jim's mom serves them biscuits and coffee/tea etc. Jim's surprised to find no replicator in the kitchen and no hovertractors in the fields, but the crops look good and things seem to be in order. Mom apologizes for being busy and goes to some meeting or other. The boys pack a lunch and go for a hike together. They share lunch and speak together of their friendship in front of an old abandoned house. All Jim knows is, it was there when he was young and no-one really seems to know what happened there. It proves unsafe to enter so they pack up the lunch things and walk on. On a rise overlooking the windswept ocean of grain (lovely images all thru this part) they finally speak of what each has been thinking, and of t'hy'la, in all its meanings. Almost dazedly happy, they walk home most of the way hand-in-hand, caught up in the newness and yet utter familiarity of all this feeling they share. That evening Winona hosts a party with the boyz as guests of honour. It goes well enough at first, though Jim is mildly perturbed by the amount of sentiment voiced against modern technology, not to mention vague overheard mutterings about some people needing to be told how to live their lives. But he's a guest; he says nowt, merely nods politely and keeps circulating. He's bothered by the tasteless catered food and the distinct lack of joviality though -- neither were characteristic of his mother's parties before. In due course the guests leave and the boyz retire for the night. They make love for the first time, and it is sparely written, but lovely all the same. They wake up together next day, still so relaxed and happy. Jim wants to show Spock his favourite local business: a small gallery run by two men and full of exquisitely painted landscapes. To his shock the place is abandoned -- dusty, filthy windows, obvious signs of neglect. Jim's depressed -- he tells Spock those paintings were like going back to his childhood. They decide to get coffee instead -- and here is where the story really starts to give you that ol' Twilight Zone tingle.

[much snipped due to length]

The only part of the story that isn't quite right -- and this is only my opinion, nobody died and made me god-for-the-day -- is the epilogue, in which, now aboard ship once more, they get a package from Jim's mom -- that's another lovely bit, read it and see, not gonna tell ya what it is. (big evil grin)But also she tells them that the Alliance came to its senses, ran the hard boys out, invited the artists back to town and paid to rebuild the gallery. And right there I almost fell outta the story on my arse. Because shit like that happens all the time where I live, too -- and nobody on the bigoted side has ever done a damn thing for anyone on my side. Every day of my life I hear people spout this hate rap, and so it becomes very difficult for me, in that almost-last scene, to keep suspending my disbelief. It's a shame, because otherwise it's a brilliant story -- nice clean text, flows nicely, great characterizations all round -- just that one, teensy flaw. So call it, three and a half stars outta five, yah? And somebody, please get me a mug of virtual Guinness. I need to relax all /over/ again now.

One day I hope society changes. And this author did me no harm whatsoever; I was emotionally compromised briefly is all. The cause, I believe, was sufficient.

I loved how this story started – Kirk in bed with a hotter than human heavy weight next to him, which turns out to be his mother‘s cat! Kirk is home visiting his mother, and Spock is there as well, but in the guest bedroom. This is a wonderful first time story, as Kirk and Spock come to finally verbalize how much they mean to each other and act on their feelings. However, all does not go well on this visit, and Kirk and Spock have to confront some ugly prejudices. As much as I would like to believe this wouldn‘t happen in the future, I‘m afraid there will always be people who are afraid of anything different, and react violently due to their fears. This is a compelling story by a talented author. I‘m so glad she has started writing K/S again.