The Cosmic Connection
| Filk Album | |
|---|---|
| Album Title: | The Cosmic Connection |
| Producer: | Jackie Bielowicz |
| Type: | |
| Date: | December 1982 |
| Medium: | tape and lyric book |
| Fandom: | Multiple |
| Performer(s): | multimedia |
| Other: | |
| External Links: | tape available on Youtube with Jackie's permission) |
| Click here for related articles on Fanlore. | |
The Cosmic Connection is a filk tape and lyric book by The Great Broads of the Galaxy.
A fan could hear a sample of this tape at the 1982 Media West con at the Sol Plus table.
From an ad in Datazine #41: "Includes songs of ST, Pern, SW and more. Serious, funny, sometimes bizzarre. Package includes a 45-minute high-quality tape, box, lyric book, padded envelope and postage."
From the Songbook's Editorial
Welcome to a meeting of the Great Broads of The Galaxy. We are a group of women who were drawn together by a common love of StarTrek. Over the ensuing years, we have fed our needs by once every three months or so, abandoning jobs, homes, and families to revel luxuriously in a weekend of love, sharing, and general insanity. Sometimes we are children, indulging in club T-shirts, code names, and secret handshakes. Other times, we are a collective body that reaches out, eager to share our joy in an always exciting world. This tape is our reaching out to you, drawing you to our warmth and delighting in your presence.
At our meetings, it's 'Katie-bar-the-door' and no holds barred. We will explore anything, use our minds to go anywhere, and if need be, make up people to complete our needs at that particular time. We are into zines, theater, Torn Selleck, picante sauce, and unicorns among the 10,001 things we share. We are IDIC - strong in our common loves and joyful in our diverse interests. We like to think our music shows us at our best.
[...]
...about the songs. Most of them are self-explanatory; the lyrics and music tell it all. But, we would like to add a few notes. "Fame and Glory" is dedicated to the early Federation explorers. "The Ballad of the Birthday Boy" is based on Collette Mak's great story in R&R. "Flight" is a totally original composition based on Anne McCaffrey's Dragons of Pern series. "The Ballad of Media*West" is a filk written after Media*WestCon in 1981. There was a little trouble between the con and concurrent softball convention, but nothing like the rumors we heard through the evening. We felt that the very irony of the situation deserved its own filk. And finally, "Old Trekker's Home" is not a dream; applications are now being taken to the Grand Opening in 2023 AD. No mundanes need apply.
This is about it. Please let us know how you like this tape. After all, only you can keep us from perpetrating this crime again. If we don't hear from you, we will continue to think that we are Great!
The Songbook
illo by Raynett Dodge
illo by Raynett Dodge
Tape Contents
SIDE ONE –
(1) Old Ben’s Song: The Broads, Soloist: Cheryl White (Star Wars) )to Ghostriders in the Sky) ("Within STWars and Trek fandom, the years have produced....the self-styled Great Broads of the Galaxy, from the midwest, whose driving rendition of "Old Ben's Song" might chill the marrow...)[1]
(2) Born Of Your Sun: Jeanne Cloud & Cheryl White (sung to the tune of "If I Were A Carpenter") (examines Christine Chapels unrequited love for Spock)
(3) The Trekker: Verses – Jeanne Cloud & Cheryl White Chorus – The Broads (sung to the tune of "The Boxer") (a fan wakes one morning to find her husband has taken the kids to "Delaware/Bye Bye" after spending too much on conventions and fanzines)
(4) The Battle of Media*West: Verses – Jeanne Cloud & Jackie Bielowicz (sung to the "Battle of New Orleans") (composer notes: "a filk written after Media*West Con in 1981. There was a little trouble between the con and concurrent softball convention, but nothing like the rumors we heard through the evening. We felt that the very irony of the situation deserved its own filk."
(5) Fame and Glory: Soloists: Cheryl White & Jeanne Cloud (sung to the tune of "All the Gold in California") (composer's notes: "dedicated to the early Federation explorers.")
(6) Flight: Jeanne Cloud & Cheryl White (an original composition based on Dragonriders of Pern)
SIDE TWO –
(1) Mary Sue Du Wop: The Broads, Soloist: Jackie Bielowicz
(2) The Ballad of The Birthday Boy: The Broads (sung to the tune of "Tom Dooley") (composer's notes: "The Ballad of the Birthday Boy is based on Collette Mak's great story in R&R.")
(3) Taboo: Jeanne Cloud
(4) Old Trekker’s Home: The Broads (sung to the tune "Home On the Range")(composer's notes: "Old Trekker's Home is not a dream; applications are now being taken to the Grand Opening in 2023 AD. No mundanes need apply.")
(5) The Ballad of Capricorn One: Cheryl White
Members
The Great Broads of the Galaxy are –
- Cheryl White
- Jeanne Cloud
- Jackie Bielowicz
- Raynett Dodge
- Susan Farrell
- Rhea Brainerd
- Andrea Martin
- Karen Figart
- Joyce DeBoard
Sample Lyrics
FAME AND GLORY (to "All the Gold in California")
- If you're dreamin' of fame and glory,
- Of other worlds with golden girls,
- Where people know your name.
- Face the challenge of a new horizon;
- For money or lust, it doesn't matter to us,
- The Federation's a brand new game.
- The stars are filled with treasures,
- New aliens and pleasures,
- But every star that glitters,
- Well, it's not gold,
- Now they've labeled me a hero
- But this life is next to zero.
- It could take a soul forever
- To find his way back home.
- If you're dreamin' of fame and glory,
- Of other worlds with golden girls,
- Where people know your name.
- Face the challenge of a new horizon;
- For money or lust, it doesn't matter to us,
- The Federation's a brand new game.
- If you're dreamin' of fame and glory,
- Of other worlds with golden girls,
- Where people know your name.
- Face the challenge of a new horizon;
- For money or lust, it doesn't matter to us,
- The Federation's a brand new game.
- A brand new game.
THE TREKKER (to the tune "The Boxer") (lyrics by Cheryl White & Jeanne Cloud)
- Oh, my name it is the Trekker and my story must be told
- Of money spent on fanzines, pointed ears, tarnished IDICs
- and erotic Kirk dolls.
- There are buttons, slides and pictures, books and bumper stickers, too.
- I am building a collection; looks as though I'm gonna have
- to add a room or two.
- On the wall,
- There's "Kirk Enslaved" with lights and matted, he stands six feet tall
- La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.
- Now I'm writing my first story, blood and gore, will Kirk pull through'
- But the brightest girl in all the Fleet is there to save the ship
- her name is Mary Sue.
- The logical First Officer conducts no life of sin,
- Except once every seven years, he goes amuck and dares someone to
- challenge him.
- Pon Farr again!
- It seems it happens every time that I take up my pen.
- Lay-lay-lay-lay-lay-lay-lay-lay-lay-lay.
- Oh, an alien's got the Big Three, puts them sorely through
- their trials.
- Kirk is bleeding, Spock's receding, and McCoy is there attending
- to them all the while.
- Well, the "get-em" stories have our Kirk in a dark and lonely place,
- With whips and chains and mind-machines; we see the anguish written
- on our Vulcan's face.
- "He's hurt, my friend!"
- "I'm a doctor, not a tailor, but I'll patch him up again."
- Lie-lie-lie-lie-lie-lie-lie-lie-lie-lie.
- Every time the golden lock falls down, it drives our Vulcan wild
- And Kirk, he likes the Vulcan bod; we see the devilish
- gleam behind the charming smile.
- Putting pen again to paper, seems I cannot write enough.
- It s Kirk and Spock, then add McCoy; the stories grow. I love
- to see them in the buff.
- K/S is fun!
- It seems that I can have them mate with just about anyone.
- Gay-gay-gay-gay-gay-gay-gay-gay-gay-gay.
- Well, my stories lie in numbers far too numerous to conceive.
- Stacked in hallways, doorways, in the bath; I get the thought,
- I think that I will publish these."
- Now I'm editing my first fanzine; I get stories by the ton.
- The Post Offal ate the artwork, the copy smeared, I don't have
- help from anyone .
- I declare!
- My husband's gone and left me, moved the kids to Delaware.
- Bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye-bye.
THE OLD TREKKERS' HOME (To the tune of "Home on the Range")
- CHORUS:
- Come, come to the Home
- Where old Trekkers do happily roam.
- Tho'our joints turn to rust,
- We still pant, we still lust,
- And we can't leave the Captain alone.
- Oh, give us a place
- Where old Trekkers can race;
- Where our phasers and fanzines survive.
- Screeching wheelchairs are heard
- Headed up by "The Bird"
- And our pacemakers keep us alive.
- CHORUS
- Oh, we write just for fun
- And each story that's done
- Delivers an unchanging dream.
- To a World Con we'll go;
- Win a Writer's Hugo
- And deafen you all with a scream.
- CHORUS ...the Doctor...
- Give us a zine
- Where the villians are mean;
- Where the Klingons are rough and uncouth.
- He'll kill and he'll rape
- And that's only his mate
- And you can't tell his lies from the truth
- CHORUS . . .the Klingon . . .
- We Trekkers stand near,
- For our fanzines are here,
- Asking all that we meet, "Have you more'"
- It you ever so no,
- 'Tis a terrible woe;
- We will throw you right out of the door.
- CHORUS . . .the Scotsman. . .
- When we want to doze,
- We warm up our toes
- In a way you may never have seen.
- Tho it's very obscene
- We stick our toes in-between
- A prurient, hot K/S zine!
- CHORUS ... the Russian . . .
- Oh, we travel no more
- But retirement's no bore
- With the Trekkers in charge at the Home.
- Up to V'ger we'll beam
- Every night, in a dream
- And thru space we will happily roam.
- CHORUS . . .the Helmsman . .
- With paintbrush in hand,
- We roam o'er the land
- Showing Trek art that really is swell.
- Our charcoals are neat,
- And the drawings . . . a treat,
- But our crayons are messy as hell.
- CHORUS . . .the Redshirts .
- Oh, give us a place
- To catch Spock face to face;
- Love his ears, love his eyes, love his lips
- Some say he's a jerk
- But they didn't ask Kirk
- Whom he trust with his life and his ship.
- CHORUS . . .the Vulcan. .