James T. Kirk: Mata Hari, Don Juan or Dobie Gillis?
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| Title: | James T. Kirk: Mata Hari, Don Juan or Dobie Gillis? |
| Creator: | Donna S. Frelick |
| Date(s): | April 2009 |
| Medium: | print, online |
| Fandom: | multi |
| Topic: | |
| External Links: | Wayback link |
| Click here for related articles on Fanlore. | |
James T. Kirk: Mata Hari, Don Juan or Dobie Gillis? is a 2009 essay by Donna S. Frelick. It was original printed in Antares #3, and is online.
Chapter Titles
- Introduction
- In Service to the Federation
- The Roots of the Reputation
- Kirk in Love
Excerpts
Captain James T. Kirk stands in the eye of a storm of fan controversy regarding nearly every aspect of his character and behavior. Kirk’s fans defend him as a fearless, intuitive leader; Kirk’s detractors counter that he is an impulsive maverick with more blind luck than strategic skill. Fans praise him as a decisive man of action; critics excoriate him as a hyperactive, phaser-toting space cowboy. Those who love him see him as a staunch defender of truth, justice and the Federation way; those who hate him see him as the biggest threat to the Prime Directive since Garth of Izar.
Battling fans reserve their lowest insults and highest levels of vitriol over a question that has little to do with Kirk’s courage, intelligence or command brilliance. Instead the question that will bring nearly any group of randomly selected Star Trek fans to blows has more to do with libido than leadership: is James T. Kirk a sensitive, caring, virile man who happens to be attractive to (and attracted by) the opposite sex, or is the captain of the Enterprise the most outrageous dog of all time and space?
In an effort to add fresh fuel to this controversy and forestall any eventuality that fans may grow tired of endlessly ruminating on the matter, this author has painstakingly analyzed all 79 original episodes of Star Trek, plus the first seven feature films, searching for clues to the mystery of Kirk-as-lover. The research has spanned more than thirty years and involved more hours of staring at a small, squarish cube of plastic and electronic components than any sane person should readily admit to. The long hours of hard work—not to mention the gallons of beer and tons of snack foods! — yielded impressive results. And once this author got over that killer headache, she formulated a theory that should serve as argument fodder for many conventions to come.
For those fans who revel in Star Trek trivia (and who among us is immune?), there are twenty-nine episodes and four feature films in which Jim Kirk can be said to have an interaction of a flirtatious, romantic or sexual nature, or in which past liaisons are key to the story. Twenty-five of these interactions involve a physical action onscreen, such as a kiss or full-body embrace. A moderately prurient viewer could reasonably argue that these on-screen encounters lead to the bedroom (or captain’s cabin or a storage closet on Deck Nine) in six instances, while the same can be assumed of five past relationships referred to in the canon. The case can be made that Kirk scores in "Bread and Circuses," "Elaan of Troyius," "The Mark of Gideon," "The Paradise Syndrome," "Shore Leave" and "Wink of an Eye." The evidence in incontrovertible in "The Paradise Syndrome" and "Wink of an Eye." A reasonable assumption can be made that he scored in past relationships in "Where No Man Has Gone Before," "Court Martial," "The Deadly Years," "Turnabout Intruder" and Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.
Six interactions involve reunions with lovers from Kirk’s past. Seventeen are initiated by others for reasons of their own, and/or happen while Kirk is somehow not in full control of his...uh...faculties. In only four on-screen cases do we observe Kirk to fall in love of his own volition, though it is debatable whether the actions of a Kirok with amnesia count.
Poor Captain Kirk’s past gives the phrase "unlucky in love" a whole new meaning. It is hardly surprising that he chooses to use his sexuality to turn the tables as Mata Hari, or to engage in a little uncomplicated fun as Don Juan, rather than risk falling in love with the women he meets. It’s certainly less painful for him, and the women might actually stand a chance of surviving the encounter.
In fact, the final body count yields the most intriguing data of all: Of the thirteen women Kirk charms as Mata Hari, eight survive (several of whom could even be said to have benefitted from his attention) and five die. Of these, the more Kirk enjoys the interaction, the more likely the woman is to survive or thrive.
Of the ten women Kirk loves, five survive (without him, with various degrees of wistful regret), four die, one goes insane. If carrying on a love affair with Jim Kirk was a disease, it would have a fifty percent mortality rate.
On the other hand, of the seven entities Kirk (or some part of him) romances just for the fun of it, all seven survive and only two can be said to have suffered from the encounter. We have no information on how these women rated their experiences, but at least they are all alive to tell the tale.
We will leave the detailed analysis to Mister Spock, but a quick, subjective glance at these statistics leads this author to but one conclusion: James T. Kirk has been the butt of far too much criticism as an intergalactic Don Juan. On the contrary, it is much better for all involved when the captain allows this aspect of his character free rein. Star Trek writers please note: Apart from those seductions which are strictly in the line of duty, Kirk should confine himself to interactions of a Don Juan nature. Real love is obviously far too risky.