Chalk and Cheese/Issues 16-19

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Chalk and Cheese · Issues 01-05 · Issues 06-10 · Issues 11-15 · Issues 16-19
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Issue 16

Chalk and Cheese 16 has art by Joey Rodrigues, and Suzan Lovett (front cover). It was published in May 1997. It has 153 pages.

front cover of issue #16, Suzan Lovett

From the editorial:

Well, fen, here it is, MediaWest time again. And as seems to have become the norm for some of my zines, I am simul-pubbing Chalk and Cheese 16 and Chalk and Cheese 17. C&C16 just got too big, and had to be split—five days before the con! Ack!

I've also started a zine agenting business called Agent With Style. Since Bill Hupe has left the arena, and left no one to take up the business, I'm hoping to do just a fraction of what he did in getting the zines most fen would never see out and into fandom's eye. I have a long list of zines available—many new, some older and hard to find—for a double-stamped long SASE. Or you can just write me at [email protected], and I can send you a long e-list of available zines.

I'd also like to publicly thank the folks who brought us ArpaNet, the precursor to the Internet, because without them, this zine—and many others I'm putting out—would have taken a lot longer to get to you. Let's protect this precious way of communication! Strike down censorship on the web!

  • Open Wide and Say "Arr!" by Jane Mailander (1) (in her Quanta Leap series in which Bodie and Doyle are whisked to various times and places and have to solve a problem before they can escape.)
  • Garfield cartoon by Mary Helm (28)
  • The Interview by Meridian (29)
  • Duality by Diane Morris (41)
  • Bodie's Book of Words to Live By Khrystyna (109)
  • First Quickening by Sue Well (110)
  • Bodie's Book of Words to Live By Khrystyna (125)
  • The Price of Loyalty by Jennifer Lyon (126)

  • inside page from issue #16, Joey Rodrigues

  • inside page from issue #16, Joey Rodrigues

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 16

...in my humble opinion C&C 16 is a washout. Nothing thrilled or even mildly entertained me. It's full of cross-universe stuff and/or gen stones. Since I find gen Pros stories completely boring, the zine never had a chance with me. The exceptions to the gen stuff were lacklustre and certainly couldn't make the zine worth the money to me. The saving grace was the cover. It's a beautiful Lovett color illo of Doyle beneath a rose satin cover with Bodie caressing an obvious bit that is well defined by the cover. The illo, in my opinion, is worth the price of the zine, so I recommend buying the thing but will leave the story reviews to someone who likes the kind of stories featured.[1]

Issue 17

Chalk and Cheese 17 was published in May 1997 (the same time as issue #16) and contains 131 pages.

The front cover art is by Suzan Lovett and other art is by Joey Rodrigues and Pat Cash.

front cover of issue #17, Suzan Lovett - "No, Bodie, Not Even A Little Peek" -- the original art was for sale at Lovett's website - A fan in 1997 wrote: "Though I've seen some amazing artwork... one of my fave ... that Peek-a-boo Bodie one where Doyle is painting Bodie and Bodie is nekkid in the painting and has a schlong that a blue whale might be envious of..." [2]

  • from issue #17, Joey Rodrigues

  • from issue #17, Joey Rodrigues

  • from issue #17, Pat Cash

  • from issue #17, Pat Cash

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 17

See reactions and reviews for Predators.

[Dust and Secrets]: During the unofficial visit of an Arabian King, Bodie and Doyle have to organize security with a SAS contingent in Sudeley Castle, Gloucestershire. Soon, they can't shake off the feeling that the stories about the castle's ghost might be true - and the ghost seems to be especially fond of Ray Doyle. I must admit that at first, the author's decision to mix The Professionals with a supernatural storyline threw me for a loop - ghosts and CI5? For real? Surprisingly enough it works, and the ending of the story is simply perfect. Don't miss this.[3]

[zine]: ... no. 17 was fantastic! Not a word I would usually associate with the typically uneven quality of C&C. Not a clunker in the thing, and I always feel lucky when I find one-and-a-half stories to like in C&C (every issue usually features one gem)! First off, the cover is another Lovett color illo, again worth the price alone. Bodie, all dressed very nicely in his usual dapper attire, is posing for Doyle, who is painting his picture. Except that the Bodie in the painting is quite naked, very well endowed and has long, flowing hair (goes with the long flowing cock).

Now to the stories (all of which are slash!)

"Dust and Secrets" by FJ - B&D get shipped off to help the SAS guard an old castle. Seems the owner of said castle is expecting a visit from her old school chum, a thinly-veiled version of Jordan's Queen Noor. Jealousy over an old mate of Bodies gets Doyle to whisk our favourite blue-eyed boy off to bed. Then there is the ghost to deal with. Good solid story. No plot holes, but not for anyone who can't take a mild supernatural influx. I don't usually like that in Pros but ghosts and old English castles work for me.

Just Ignore the Eye in the Back of His Head by Gena Fisher: This is based on the old Dick Van Dyke Show episode "It May Look Like a Walnut" (the one where Danny Thomas is an alien from another planet, drinks water to breath, has no thumbs, has an eye in the back of his head and eats nothing but walnuts).

Not as funny as you might expect because Bodie doesn't know he's in the middle of a transplanted classic sit-com. All he knows is that he and Doyle are doing guard duty for a Geraldo clone who says aliens have taken over and Doyle is beginning to fit the symptoms.

A Struggle in Choice by Danajeanne Norris: Very good story and my second favorite. In the aftermath of No Stone, Doyle is feeling sorry for himself over what June Cook said. He wallows in it (as only the golli can) and eventually tells Bodie that no one cares. Bodie, on a short fuse after all that wallowing, gives him a rather savage kiss and tells him NEVER to say Bodie doesn't care again.

Before Doyle can adequately digest this, the lads end up investigating the murder of the homosexual relative of a minister. Doyle comes around to Bodie's way of thinking and I enjoyed the case backstory.

Raven Has His Say by Terence: I say all the stories were slash, but this one really isn't. Sort of. It's set in the Building to Last universe, which definitely IS slash, but only the cat gets to make an appearance this time. Raven gets interviewed by a reporter for C&C. Basically a clever device for the author of the series to say she's moved on to other fandoms, but don't give up hope. The least enjoyable story, but cute enough.

Predators by Jennifer Lyon: Wonderful story! Leafing through it, I thought it was gen, so I almost didn't read it. I'm SOOOOOOOOOO glad I did. Jenny has created a tense, well written delima for our lads that kept me riveted from paragraph one to paragraph last. There isn't much sex in it, but when it does happen there is a lovely, 'well, of course' aspect to it. I loved Bodie's added problems, and Doyle was marvelous in dealing with them. Best story in the zine, and the zine was quite good!

One minor quibble, and this is purely the editor's fault -- C&C headers each story with the title and author's last name. This I like, unfortunately, Jenny's story got slugged with Danajeanne's last name!

Disintegration by Danajeanne Norris: Death poem. Don't like those anymore than I like death stories, so I didn't read it.

There's some nice artwork throughout by Joey Rodrigues and Pat Cash.

Anyway, C&C 17 is a winner. Buy it, and feel quite smug in the knowledge that the two best stories were written by list members! Danajeanne and Jenny deserve a nice round of applause, so give it to them, then let's chain 'em to their keyboards![4]

Issue 18

cover of issue #18, RAGS

Chalk and Cheese 18 was published in 1997 and contains 150 pages. It has art by RAGS (Front Cover), Joey Rodrigues, Pat Cash, and Kate Nuernberg.

  • Letters of Comment by D. Readers (1)
  • Calling Cards by Dr. Seuss (4)
  • Reflections over Midnight Tea by Anne Higgins (11)
  • Bodie's Book of Words to Live By by Khrystyna (18)
  • Pudding, Anyone? by Laura Waight (19)
  • Bodie's Book of Words to Live By by Khrystyna (24)
  • Agony Aunt by Terence (from the Building to Last Universe) (25)
  • Bodie's Book of Words to Live By by Khrystyna (28)
  • Misstep by Terence (from the Building to Last Universe) (29)
  • Bodie's Book of Words to Live By by Khrystyna (32)
  • The Next Day by Meridian (33)
  • Sanctuary by Jane Mailander (48)
  • Murpy's Law by Lorelei Feldman (52)
  • Cartoon by Kerry O'Connor (59)
  • Winter Chill by Jesse (60)
  • Bodie's Book of Words to Live By Khrystyna (62)
  • Velocity by Sue Wells (63)
  • Bodie's Book of Words to Live By Khrystyna (86)
  • Shattered Bits of Broken Glass by DanaJeanne Norris (87)
  • Joy's Bonfire by Elessar (96)
  • Commemoration by Jane Mailander (the final story in her Land-Bridge series in which Bodie is dead and Doyle moves on to a new relationship with Murphy. The previous stories in the series were published in Nudge Nudge Wink Wink, Professional B and D, Nudge Nudge Wink Wink 3, and Murphy's Law.) (130)
  • Anniversary by Jennifer Lyon (140)
  • Bodie's Book of Words to Live By Khrystyna (150)

  • inside page from issue #18

  • inside page from issue #18

  • inside page from issue #18

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 18

See reactions and reviews for Commemoration

Issue 19

cover of issue #19, Karen River

Chalk and Cheese 19 was published in May 1999 and contains 241 pages. The front cover is by Karen River. It contains no interior art.

This was the last issue.

The editorial:

I've had a great time editing and putting together these nineteen issues of Chalk and Cheese and I'm looking forward to doing a special anniversary issue of Chalk and Cheese 20. so I'm asking for everyone's help to make this a huge blowout zine! (Even bigger than this one!) Maybe we can focus on Bodie and Doyle's relationship through the years and how they've handled (and are still handling) certain aspects of their lives. Maybe you can write long, involved stories showing that our lads are still going strong twenty years later. Maybe you just want to send in a cartoon or poem you've done that lampoons or highlights the essence of The Professionals. Whatever it is, I'm hoping you, the reader, the writer, the very person who picks up this zine, will want to help make C&C20 the biggest, snazziest, most talked about zine of the year! So send a story or two and make this zine grow!

References

  1. ^ from DIAL #3
  2. ^ from Virgule-L, quoted anonymously (17 Sep 1997)
  3. ^ the professionals fan fiction - recommendations by allaire mikháil dated 2000, Archived version
  4. ^ from Virgule-L, quoted anonymously (July 4, 1997), also in DIAL #3
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