Brit Shriek!

Zine
Title:	Brit Shriek!
Publisher:	Whatever You Do, Don't Press
Editor(s):
Date(s):	January 1992
Series?:
Medium:	print
Size:
Genre:
Fandom:	Professionals
Language:	English
External Links:
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cover by Paulie

Brit Shriek! is a 110-page long slash and gen Professionals anthology.

The art is by Paulie, Jane Mailander, Barbara Fish, Folger's Crystals, Corinna Hansen, Kay Wells, and Jean C..

Series

It is part of a series of themed zines:

• The Hols of CI5 - holiday focus (1991)
• Brit Shriek! - supernatural focus (1992)
• Holiday Shrieks - holidays and supernatural focus (1993)

Submission Request

Before It Had a Title

The next theme zine [that] I'm doing a 'supernatural' Pros zine, due out probably this October. Paulie is doing the cover and it promises to be great. 'Supernatural' means anything from ESP to ghosties and ghoolies, but let's try to avoid any more 'Ray-is-an-elf' stories. Lily Fulford has already got that angle covered, and has promised a story for the zine. I'm also giving away a free copy to anyone who can come up with a good title (and remember, I love puns!).

Announcing a new Professionals theme zine to debut around October, 1991. Its theme is 'the supernatural.'

This includes anything from E.S.P. to ghosts to reincarnation to precognition. Just about anything will be covered, except historicals. I'd like these stories to be firmly rooted in the series. No alternate universes. Sure, Bodie has dreams that come true, but he has to deal with them while working for CIS. Certainly, Ray is a warlock and has a black goat as a familiar, but what does Cowley have to say about it when it comes time for him to change flats? (And what about the cleaning crews? Yeech!) Do you get the picture?

Please, no more Ray-is-an-elf stories. Lily Fulford is doing a story in her ongoing series for the zine, and there is such a thing as overkill. However, anything else is fine.

Slash and straight both are welcome, as well as stories or poems of any length.

Contributions on disk will be doubly welcome, but if you can't swing it, don't worry about it. If I like your story. I'll only maim you.

As yet, this zine has no name. Want a free zine? Give me a name. Remember, I love puns, so put your thinking caps on a give it whirl.

After It Had a Title

BRIT SHRIEK!, a play on words for 'Brit Speak' (something we all find ourselves doing, right?), is an all-supernatural Pros zine that is open for submissions. The only thing I ask is that the story be grounded in the series, i.e. Doyle is a warlock with a goat as a familiar, but what does Cowley say when it comes time to change flats?; Bodie can talk to ghosts, but how does this help on an op? Get the picture? Yes, it's A/U, but make it recognizable A/U. Bodie and Doyle must be the ones we all know, not 18th Century pirates or 19th Century lords. Sue Wells won the name-the-zine contest and gets a free copy. Straight and slash accepted. Deadline is 11-1-91.

The Proposed Second Issue

It appears the editor wanted to perhaps do a second issue of "Brit Shriek!" and The Hols of CI5 but didn't have enough submissions and instead diverted them to Holiday Shrieks. From the editorial of that zine:

Welcome to the first and last editon [sic] of Holiday Shrieks! This zine represents the combining of submissions of two zines, Brit Shriek! and The Hols of CI5, neither of which would have been big enough to publish on its own. So I'll let you decide which story was meant for which zine. Any further Pros submissions I get will go into my remaining Pros zine, Chalk and Cheese (which is planning issue 13, due out at the end of this year, but is still open for submissions).

[...]

...thanks to all the contributors who put up with my constantly changing mind, being told I was putting out both zines separately, combined, as a flip-zine and not at all. You guys all deserve medals!

From the Editorial

The second thing I want to address is the few people (only three, so far) who send me deposit checks as soon as I declare that I'm doing a particular zine. They make the check out for much more than any zine I've ever done has cost, give it to me months before I've even seen how big the zine is going to be, don't include a SASE with their letter, then wait two or three months to demand to know where their zine is. This really pizzles my poddle! Do NOT send me deposit checks! It screws up my bookkeeping! I appreciate the fact that you want to reserve a zine, but if you'll just send me a SASE for the correct price when the zine comes out, you'll have no trouble getting a copy. If you behave in the above-described manner, I will cash your check, wait until the zine comes out and send it to you with a refund of any remaining cash. Absolutely no communication will cake place on my end since you saw fit not to try from your end.

Moving on, if you would like to assure that you will be able to get a copy of a particular zine from me at a particular con that you know I'm attending, if you send me a letter stating which zines you would like to purchase, I will be happy to hold them back for you, please do not send me notice any earlier than two weeks before that con, as my house is crazy just before a con and it will most likely be lost. Also, please be positive that you are going to buy the zines. If I do not hear from you before the Saturday night of the con, I'll put the zines back into the sale-able stack and not hold any others back for you ever again.

I know that all the above sounds like major bitching on my part, but this is the best way I know of to get to the most people. I deal with problems of this sort on a one-to-one basis all year, but when a zine rolls around, I get to air some grievances in order to avoid like hassles in the future. I'm here to give you the zines you want, and I'm happy to do it, but, hey, I'm a person with a life, too, you know, and if we work together, we can go on producing wonderful zines for years to.come, I won't get disgusted and say to hell with it; you won't say nasty things about my labours of love. Fair deal?

Contents

• The Hook, vignette by Mystery Frank (1)
• Got Those Vampiric Blues by Stew (slash) (2)
• London Fog by Sue Wells (gen) (14)
• Wednesday's Brother, Friday's Child by Linda Terrell (gen) (23) (inspired by Cthulhu)
• (Reality is) Whatever You Conceive It to Be by Barbara St John (slash) (34)
• 'Tis a Grand Old Name by Caroline Quinn (gen) (40)
• Danger After Dark by Lily (slash) (49)
• Bodie Meets Godzilla by Dr Seuss (gen) (60)
• A Circle of Silver by Gena Fisher (slash) (63)
• If I Touch Thee by Michelle Christian (slash) (75)
• The Protected and the Protector, poem by Michelle Christian (78)
• Sunshine and Moonshadow by Natasha Barry (slash) (79)
• And Miles to Go by Anabeth Walton (slash) (87)
• Wave Goodbye Already! by Jane Mailander (A parody sequel to Cathy Bryson's "Nobody Waves Goodbye" in Chalk and Cheese 4. Jane Mailander's story is the first of a trilogy, followed by "Marley" in Holiday Shrieks and "See Me, Hear Me, Feel Me" in Leather and Blue Jeans #2) (gen) (91)
• The Line and the Sinker by Mystery Frank (109)

Sample Interior

• 

  Barbara Fish

• 

  Kay Wells

• 

  Kay Wells

• 

  Jean C.

• 

  Corinna Hansen

Reactions and Reviews

Got Those Vampiric Blues' — Now this really was a nice one. I've always enjoyed vampire stories that don't explain everything up to the smallest detail, but leave a bit of space for your own imagination.

"Wednesday's Brother, Friday's Child" — Yuck! Poor Bodie. That thing sounded like something out of Call of Cthulu, but it was a nice piece of horror to read. (Although I didn't sleep very well afterwards.) "If I Touch Thee" — Could have been a little longer, but maybe Michelle will write us a sequel?

"Wave Goodbye Already!" — Cowley would be delighted. Trained invisible CI5 agents working for him and all for free. On the other hand, it could be a little difficult if no one could see them when they do want to be seen.

I loved Brit Shrieks! I am an avid and fervent fan of the unusual in fanfic; this zine seemed tailor-made for me! I wasn't disappointed in a single story.

I did have favorites, though. I enjoyed "Wave Goodbye, Already" (even though it wasn't a sequel to my story—sigh) very much. Besides being well-written, the characterizations were dead on target and the dialogue delightful. Plus, I love a good ghost story and this one enchanted me completely.

"Got Those Vampiric Blues" was a hoot. Doyle as a vampire excites me terribly (can I say that?) (-You just did.-) and any stories therein will always be favorites.

My very favorite entry, though, was "A Circle of Silver." I am a life-long lover of (and occasional writer of) ghost stories. This was especially sweet and gentle, amid the heartache and Bodie's lust for revenge.

And I got all weepy-eyed at Doyle's waiting for Bodie so they could enter the hereafter together. To me, that is the only way for Bodie and Doyle to go. I like to think of the two of them raising holy hell in heaven! Ha! My kudos to Gena Fisher for a tale well told.

A terrific zine, Misty. Please do another one soon! (

"Got Those Vampiric Blues" was cute. I liked the fact that Ray was as much in the dark, so to speak, as everyone else. I also liked Cowley with a smile on his face...

"London Fog"~an amusing and affectionate tribute. Thanks for the pocket ID at the end; it really enhanced the effect of the story to know who was who. But Sue Wells really got the dialogue down.

"Wednesday's Brother, Friday's Child"—Well-written, nicely set up. Liked the Lovecraftian-type monster—but the ending came too fast. It reminded me of Alien 3 (the movie): Ripley (Bodie) isn't really dead. It's just a bad dream. Any moment now she's (he's) going to wake up, grab Newt (Ray) and go kick some Alien butt.

"'Tis a Grand Old Name"—Not sure I'm comfortable with Cowley using this degree of coercion. Blackmail is blackmail, ugly no matter what the secret.

"Danger After Dark"—Nice integration of plot.

"Bodie Meets Godzilla"—Didn't buy it, even for a moment. Everybody knows Godzilla is Japanese.

"A Circle of Silver"—Much anguish, not much plot.

"If I Touch Thee"—Very nice. Just long enough.

"Sunshine and Moonshadow"—That's the best you can think to do with the girl, kill her off? Can't buy Merlin/Cowley as a matchmaker, somehow.

"And Miles to Go"—Be glad to see more of this series. This little bit was intriguing.

"Wave Goodbye, Already"-Cute. I always did like My Partner the Ghost. You'll have to work out the details awfully carefully, though.

"Line and Sinker"—Nuh-uh. Any fraction of an infinite number is an infinite number (and persons aren't averages), but if Murphy will fall for it...

The cover for Brit Shriek! caught my eye. Bodie looks a bit like, umm, well, I certainly wouldn't want to meet him on a darkened galleon! (Actually, he looks like a boxer...) And I've seen Pirate Doyle in some old movie or another, I'm sure.

"Got Those Vampiric Blues" by Stew—Well, a vampire story that's not quite a 'vampire' story. Which is a good thing because I'm sick of them, especially Ann Rice vampires. Stew put in a sweet quality here that works. Also, I felt pleasantly lethargic while reading it (well, it did arrive the day before I was put in hospital with sever vertigo from an inner ear infection...), which also lent itself to the story. Okay, Stew, the jig's up. How long have you been a vampire?

"(Reality is) Whatever You Conceive It to Be" by St. John-This "New Age" faerie tale wasn't even new to me back in the '60s when I was a hippy/flower child. B&D with children is one of my personal groans. Sorry, I am not reduced to maternal mush by kiddies and I just don't see them in any of B&D's worlds.

However, I can't fault the writing here, although it comes across as a children's story. But it just doesn't feel right to me, so I didn't enjoy it as much as I might have. I've also been 'into' the Wolf mystique for over 30 years now. I prefer the Amerindian wolf mythos...

"Tis a Grand Old Name" by Quinn (a pretty grand old name itself—1 grew up with McNultys, McLoughlins and MacNamaras, by the way)—Leprechauns on the loose in C15. Well, I always knew that. Hadda be Murphy, especially since all the elves seem to be Doyles. (I claim the centaurs for Bodie.)

Of course the best course in a revoltin' davelopment like Murphy's in this tale, is to meet it head on. So what if B&D found out his 'secret'? Meet it with a wry smile and an "I'm a leprechaun? Yeah, sure, Bodie. Doyle. And Cowley's Merlin," and stroll off chuckling. But then, that would kinda blow the original tale out of the water. After all, you gotta know a leprechaun's name in order to control him (are there female leprechauns?).

"Danger After Dark" by Fulford—At last, another installment in her In the Dark series.

Probably the only Doyle-is-an-elf tales I've ever really enjoyed in this fandom. Certainly the only one of which I look for more, primarily because this elven Doyle isn't 'perfect.' I look forward to B&D in Avalon. The King's Idyll may never been the same again.

My only complaint with this installment is that I felt it needed a bit more action/adventure when they finally went into the dark, as it were. It seemed a bit too rushed and pat.

Never having been in London, I can't relate to all the street names Fulford drops. If you must toss street and place names about, give us non-Brits a reference, please. Or a map.

"A Circle of Silver" by Gena Fisher—Ms. Fisher writes a sweet tale as a rule, but when she writes angst, she has a tendency to string metaphors together until they distract from the reading. I actually got to the point where I was ticking them off! Metaphors are like spices and should be used sparingly. Lines like "...emerald orbs..." and "...gave in to the Grim Reaper's insistent grasp..." speak of the inexperienced writer who could use an experienced editor to guide her. (-Thank you for your constructive comments, Linda. Who knows, maybe another ten years will make me an experienced editor?-)

1 did press on, however (I read all of every zine I get) and found myself reading the one kind of story in B&D fanfic I really do not get on with: the death/suicide pact scenario. So I fear I could not judge this fairly.

"If I Touch Thee" by Christian—This definitely needed some fleshing out. It came across more as an outline, a proposal for a long story. I'd like to read the middle that wasn't there.

"Sunshine and Moonshadow" by Barry — Well, this started out promisingly enough, then I ran into the Ann-Holly-bitch line and stopped on the spot. The Ann-Holly-bitch line is, to me, a cop-out. She was not a bitch, she was used and manipulated every much as was Doyle and she did the only thing she could (and which I would have done): she dumped Doyle and CI5.

And, once again, an undeveloped story. It needed so much more than expository/ references. I would liked to have been shown something, not told.

"And Miles to Go" by Walton—I was left with one question here: Cowley still had his amulet on? Most funeral homes remove jewelry, unless it's a wedding ring. And then, they will put the jewelry aside in a small bag or such to be given to any kin. It's usually left on the body only if directed. So I am assuming that the reader is to assume that the amulet must have looked like something else to the embalmers, too?

"Wave Goodbye, Already!" by Mailander—My favorite story in the zine. Just the right touch of light and pathos and good, plausible plot. I got a lot of chuckles and a bit of history. Nice touch with My Partner the Ghost, which I have, fortunately, seen. By the way, there was a syndicated tv show called Shades of LA. in which a private eye (lawyer?) goes through a near-death experience which leaves him with the ability to communicate with ghosts. Eventually he's inundated with ghosts asking him to finish up something for him, 'cause he's the only one who can see them.

Now, is there to be a Brit Shriek! 2? Or can I look forward to owning that rarest of all Whatever You Do, Don't Press! editions: a one-off? Probably not, I have this idea for a really harrowing vampire tale... (