And in the Darkness Bind You

K/S Fanfiction
Title:	And in the Darkness Bind You
Author(s):	Greywolf the Wanderer
Date(s):	2001
Length:
Genre:	slash
Fandom:	Star Trek: The Original Series
External Links:	online here, Side by Side Collection on AO3
Click here for related articles on Fanlore.

And in the Darkness Bind You is a Kirk/Spock story by Greywolf the Wanderer.

It was published in the print zine T'hy'la #22 and subsequently online as a Hall of Fame story in Side by Side #9.

Summary

"Kirk and Spock become lovers while Spock is still blinded following the events on Deneva."

Author's Notes

ObDisclaim: ParaViaBorg owns the Enterprise, Kirk and Spock and the whole damn Trekiverse. Nae money bein' made here,

and there's nae point in suin' me for I'm broke. All I own is my arse and a 1958 Ford 1/2 ton pickup truck... In case of glass, break fire. Contains m/m sex; if that's nae yer bag then go read somethin' else. Not suitable for wee kids, farm animals, or elderly Republican Congresscritters... Summary: Call this, my attempt to tell what *else* happened, during and after the episode "Operation: Annihilate".

This story was originally inspired by a short piece that Wildcat wrote for the ascem round-robin "The Small Screen". My thanks to her for her permission to use her as inspiration; also to her, jonk, Doc Science and Maelen for beta-reading, and to arachnethe2 for a wonderful last-minute suggestion...

Reactions and Reviews

An excellent hurt/comfort story with a blinded Spock fearing he has lost his place in the world. Greywolf does a brilliant job of imagining quite how disorienting it must be to learn to function without one's sight. He also does a brilliant job with the sex and emotions.

This is one of the smaller of the T’hyla series of zines in that it only contains two stories of which this is the first and smallest – but its definitely a case of quality rather than quantity here.

This is a very well written and extremely moving sequel to the original series episode “Operation Annihilate!” and contains some very good characterisation of both Kirk and Spock in the aftermath of a traumatic episode in their history. Told throughout from Spock’s point of view it picks up the plot towards the end of the events in the episode. It begins with Spock waking up alone in his quarters (before his sight has been restored) after suffering yet another nightmare of the time when he was still possessed by the alien parasitic creatures. His experiences in those first few waking moments are very well described – his horror for a moment that the creatures have not been destroyed after all, that they have in fact taken over everyone on the ship, then his all too realistic realisation of the price that he has paid to be free of them. His relief that it was he and not Kirk who was infected is tempered with grief that as a result of his actions, he will in all probability soon have to leave the ship and, more importantly, leave Kirk as well is very well portrayed. As we would expect, this particular author has the characters of both Kirk and Spock down pat, exactly as we would expect them to be. While Spock is able to view his situation dispassionately, although not without regret, there is no suggestion of maudlin self pity here. Kirk, on the other hand is deeply affected by what has just taken place and his emotional reaction is vividly described, while Spock deals with the situation in a very matter of fact way as we would expect a Vulcan to. Although recognising from a logical point of view that a blind man cannot serve on a military ship, he still feels great grief at the prospect of leaving the ship where he has felt more at home than anywhere else, and even more so at the prospect of having to leave Kirk, especially as he has only just really realised too late how strong his feelings for the Captain actually are.

[much snipped]

Against a very well described background of confusion and wholesale destruction on the planet in the wake of the creatures’ destruction, the author has drawn an excellent portrait of Spock’s struggle to adapt and cope with a devastating disability – during one particularly poignant scene in sickbay, he learns that he is still able to reach out to and help others who have suffered just as much as he has as a result of the invasion of Deneva, and realises may still have a role to play after all. His discovery soon after this, that his eyes are recovering after all is a joyous and moving one – especially when we find him lying in bed next to Kirk in the dark of the night, trying without success to clamp down on the tiny slither of hope he can feel rising within him that if his sight is restored he may be able to stay with Kirk after all. The description of Kirk’s reception of that news is a well written and welcome conclusion to a wonderfully moving story that nicely rounds off this particular segment of the history of Kirk and Spock’s relationship.

For those of you who've never read ―And in the Darkness Bind You‖, it deals with events that occurred immediately after Spock is blinded in 'Operation: Annihilate'. In the actual episode, although it was never specifically stated how much time had passed between the actual blinding and Spock recovering his eyesight, I'd always assumed the interval to be brief: a few hours perhaps.

Not so, according to Greywolf.. Not hours as it turns out, but days. And very eventful days, they were. The story opens with Spock caught in the grips of a nightmare in which he believes he's still infected by the creature, fighting its relentless pounding and the terrible pain that comes with it, only to awaken to the reality of his blindness, the fact that he can no longer serve as either first officer or science officer of the Enterprise. That he will have to leave the ship, leave Kirk. In weaving this story, the author brings up something that had never occurred to me: the conditions on Deneva post-invasion. The death and destruction, the fact that, focused solely on building the alien ship, none of the residents planted crops, tended water systems, cared for the young or old, sick or injured. A society in chaos. I don't know why I'd not thought of this before, but of course, it would have been the inevitable result, and here it becomes an integral part of the story, Spock's empathy toward the victims, especially toward the young boy in sickbay, opens him up to feelings, instincts he didn't know he had. There are many other poignant scenes in the story: Spock sitting, unaware, in total darkness when Kirk comes to his quarters, trying to pretend all is well, and Kirk having to ask him to turn on the lights. Insisting on making tea and Kirk remaining silent when he inadvertently scalds himself. How he trips and falls, and that entire facade of normality comes crashing down. When he touches Kirk's face and finds to his shock that it is wet with tears; that Kirk, who didn't cry when Edith died, who didn't cry when Sam and Aurelan died, was crying now for him. What follows is a first time love scene that is both erotic and touching (and, lord knows, as a writer I am well aware of how difficult that can be to pull off successfully).

The next morning, Spock, determined to act independently even if he doesn't feel so, tries to make his way to sickbay on his own and becomes lost. I could actually feel his fear and humiliation as he struggles on, not wishing to show his weakness by asking for help. Rendered in a mere half page, it is quite amazing how profoundly it moved me. As mentioned above, it is, ironically, Spock's blindness that opens his eyes, so to speak, altering his perceptions of himself and his relationship with Kirk, and making it possible for them to go that one final step. Referring to Kirk's presence: ―It is like sunlight on my skin, this awareness that he is near.‖ So much of the story is like this, prose that more closely resembles poetry.

A wonderful piece of work.

After the procedure he underwent to get rid of the influence of the Alien beings on Deneva, Spock is left blind. While dealing with the repercussions of the new limitations to his personal life and career in Starfleet, his relationship with Jim Kirk is also altered in a significant manner.

Operation: Annihilate! is a great episode of the original series and one that offers a lot of great possible paths for fanfic writers to deal with: the possibility of the total destruction of Deneva, Kirk's loss and guilt, McCoy's regrets over the procedure he performs, Spock's blindness. While touching all of these issues somewhat, Greywolf focuses on Spock and the consequences of his acquired disability. It reads very true to the character: the initial dismay over the way his life is irrevocably changed is soon conquered by logic and adaptation. Wisely, Spock's adaptation is not one hundred percent effective: there are setbacks and limitations, just as there are in real life.

An interesting Spock-voice, the relationship between Spock and Kirk and a myriad of small details (the sensory information as perceived by Spock, the characterization of the supporting characters, the constant hints of Spock's alien nature) make for an interesting TOS fic.

Indeed, anything by Greywolf is worth reading, or rereading...but this is definitely one of the best!

Near the end of the memorable episode "Operation: Annihilate", Spock is left blind. Kirk has lost his only brother. Though we see at the end of the episode that all has returned mostly to normal, Greywolf the Wanderer explores what else might have happened during that episode. This story considers how Spock would react to losing his sight, and is a surprisingly emotional portrayal that nevertheless rings true. A classic of the hurt/comfort genre, Spock realizes that when all might seem lost, sometimes things can be found in darkness as well.

Boy, if this isn't an oldie but goodie! Greywolf is one net writer's work I go back and reread from time to time and this is one of hir best. Spock in the first person pov is rarely done so well.

Rated for adults; again, I didn't give a shit and read anyway. This is almost exactly the same as the Amok Time one except it takes place after "Operation--Annhilate!" and is angstier. And longer. And generally better, I guess. There is explicit sex and some incredibly amusing euphemisms that would have perplexed me two years ago. No tendrils, sadly. Why the fuck am I reading this crap.